One complaint. A spectacular amount of regret.

You tell me what they did. I'm on your side. I'm always on the side of whoever's talking.

Tell us their name, their most unbearable habit and one detail that proves you're not making this shit up.

We only need the funny stuff.

They get one chance to explain themselves. They'll blow it.

They can explain or skip it. You can't force someone to participate.

If they do respond, we'll examine their excuses with the care and professionalism of a drunk seagull.

I tell them what's wrong with them. In writing. You get to watch.

A personalized, ridiculous fictional diagnosis they can read and choose to share.

Want something bigger? Turn the idea into a complete illustrated comedy book.