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Dr Doug Deeper on the people you love and the things they keep doing. He’s not going to fix them. He’s taking notes.

Ryan on the couch, pouring his heart out to a potted plant beside Dr Doug Deeper’s empty armchair.

He’s been 5 minutes away since 2021

Ryan is always 5 minutes away. His girlfriend made a chart. Then I made it worse.

Dr Doug Deeper

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A man in a reindeer sweater stands at a Christmas dinner table with his arms spread impossibly wide, a thought cloud above him showing a giant monster fish attacking his tiny boat, while his bored family nods, scrolls a phone and dozes, and a small framed photo of a tiny trout hangs on the wall.

Her dad’s fish has grown 4 feet since 1994

Frank has told the same fishing story 212 times. The fish keeps getting bigger. I was in the boat.

Dr Doug Deeper

Two women clutching coffees hide behind the same wooden pillar in a cafe, back to back and each unaware of the other, while a barista watches, a sourdough jar pokes out of a tote bag and a glass of ice sits on a nearby table.

They’ve been getting coffee soon for 8 years

Mel and Dana have texted “we should get coffee soon!!” 340 times. I made them actually go. I’d like to apologize.

Dr Doug Deeper

A man wearing a headlamp kneels at an open office dishwasher, studying a mug with surgical focus beside rows of perfectly sorted mugs and a taped-up diagram of shapes, as a teary colleague peeks in and Dr Doug Deeper stands frozen in the doorway holding one spoon.

He reloads the dishwasher after she’s loaded it

Greg has a laminated diagram of the dishwasher. His wife has never been allowed to load it correctly. I gave him my kitchen.

Dr Doug Deeper

Columns · Bad Therapist